Take The Bullet
by bloopy
Summary: Will Goren and Eames friendship die in the face of a killer or lead to something more? Total BA, some mature content.
1. Chapter 1

"Why are you acting this way? Bobby, I only-"

"Eames, I don't want to hear it!"

This had not been the only fight in the Major Case squad this week. Alex was near sick of it- she had only told him about his defensiveness lately and now he seemed in cahoots with anger; she hadn't seen him this angry for months. _Well, two can play at this game._

"Goren, you are officially being a pain in the ass!"

"Detectives!" Ross pushed open the doors of his office. "In my office. Now." Bobby shoved past her and through the screened door. Alex walked dutifully behind, always the strong one. _He can be such a dick_, she thought, walking in knowing there was going to be trouble.

Ross sat down at his desk, rubbing his temples. He was clearly not in the mood to deal with this right now. "Is this why I brought you back from suspension Goren? So you could bring this office down to a new low? Give me a good reason why you should stay."

_Oh no,_ thought Alex, _he's going to say something stupid. Then I'll have to bail him out again. It never used to be like this. He used to give a damn._

"I don't know why I'm acting like this," he said with meaning that almost made Alex jump out of her seat. He never admitted that he was wrong before, not like this. "I shouldn't have blown up like that."

That kind of behavior seemed to take the captain by surprise too. "Well," he said, seeming not to know how to respond, "just…make sure it doesn't happen again."

"It won't."

He stood up with dignity and walked straight through the office doors. Alex was stunned, but got up anyway and headed out. "Wait a second, Eames. I need to talk to you."

Alex stepped back and sat down, bracing her self for the inevitable. "Captain, I really don't-"

"Yes, you do." He looked at her hard as if trying to understand a deeper meaning than she could see. "It seems that your relationship with Goren has become…strained. I really don't know what to do with him, and it seems, unfortunately, that he doesn't know what to do with you."

He sighed, then spoke in a hard tone, "If you two can't act professionally I will have to reassign him- or you. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Good." He switched back into case mode. "Now, you know the situation. Kristen Ager was abducted from her home two weeks ago. She was last seen making food for her five year old, who was found dead on the kitchen floor."

"We dug around and found some leaflets at her clinic," Alex said.

"You know that an abortionist doesn't have many God fearing fans. I want you two to stake out the clinic and see if there is any suspicious activity."

"But sir-"

"Remember what I said Eames. I was not joking."

"Yes sir," Alex sighed. She rose from her seat and left through the door. Walking towards Goren's desk, she thought about going back to Ross' office and a.k.-ing their partnership…at least temporarily. Unfortunately, she knew the reason that Bobby was lashing out had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with him.

"Come on," she said, motioning quickly and abruptly. "We have an assignment."


	2. Chapter 2

They sat in a strained silence, waiting for something to happen, something to break the tension in the SUV the squad had given them. Bobby knew that it was his fault that they were fighting, but at the same time, he didn't care. _She should have known better than to think she knew how I was feeling._

It had only been a month since his time in the mental facility and he was still getting over the trauma. He had spent most of the time of his suspension trying to get away from everyone and everything- including the idea of his dysfunctional family. It seemed too real that everything he had fought to contain inside himself poured out over the course of his experience in prison. Now he was pushing away the only sort of relationship he had left- his partnership with Alex.

Out of guilt, or necessity, Bobby decided to try and break the icy wall he had set up between the two of them. "Eames."

She still sat straight up, looking away into the distance, refusing to even acknowledge him. He knew it would take more than a simple apology to set things right. "Alex," he said, taking some edge off of the harshness of his voice.

He heard her sigh, then turn around. He expected her to be angry, but instead he saw her hurt face surfacing from the disdain.

"I'm sorry." He could see the slight shock on her face; _good, at least that means that she is listening._ "I know that I pushed you away…I just needed some space after. After the incident."

He sighed then pushed his hair back from his forehead. "I was afraid of losing it, and when I realized what had happened, stepping back from myself, I thought for sure that I would not make it out of there in tact."

He stopped there, waiting for a response of some kind; there was only silence. He let it go and began to turn around, knowing he deserved whatever came to him, when she spoke up. "I know."

He turned back to her and watched her, head bent, trying to make sense of it. "I knew after everything that you'd been through, all of it, that you needed some space. But I kept pushing, and when you ended up in there, I blamed myself. I tried as hard as I could to get you out of there, Bobby, I want you to know that."

Bobby sat back and looked at her, knowing now that he should have been more grateful, but in reply all he could do was give her a simple nod and brace himself for the long night of waiting that was approaching as the sun dwindled in the sky.

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_He was strapped to a table, his hands bound on his left and right. He could only stare into the harsh lights that lit up the prison cell and silently, he began to cry. The pain was almost unbearable and they were coming back. He let out a scream that no one could hear._

He woke up in a cold sweat from the seat he was resting in and looked around frantically, expecting to still be there, feeling the hot metal table beneath his skin. He was here though, in the SUV, watching a crime scene potentially take place.

He looked at his cell phone: 1 AM. He must have been out for a couple of hours. He looked at the seat next to him and expected to find an alert Eames, instead looking at Alex asleep. He watched her hair sweep over her face, while her chest softly rose and fell next to the wheel. _She smells good, probably her shampoo._ Her quiet breathing set Bobby at ease, although he didn't know why, and made him want to watch her slumber.

The bushes began to shake on the windless night, and made it impossible for them to rest. "Alex, Alex!" he said, gently tapping her shoulder. She rolled up and held fast to his hand as she shifted position, clearly still asleep. "Eames, something's happening. Get up." He pushed his hand gently from hers but she still showed no signs of waking up. Resigned, he got up and opened the car door.

Stepping out onto the sidewalk, he looked into the windows of the clinic; all seemed well, but he wanted to double check. Bobby quietly moved towards the closed door and tested it: locked, as it should be. He sighed quietly;_ maybe nothing will happen tonight._

Suddenly he heard a scream from the car. Running fast towards the SUV, all he could do was pray that Alex was all right.

She was screaming as hard as she had ever screamed in her entire life. It seemed as if there wasn't enough breath in her lungs for what was happening and yet every moment it seemed more and more real. There was a man in a dark mask standing over her with a gun pointed at her head. She was stuck in a fetal position unable to move. There was very little she could do to take control of the situation and she knew it.

"Please, what do you want?"

"Shut up, bitch, we saw you hanging out here with your boyfriend today-"

"He's not my-" the butt of his gun hits her firmly over the head. "Alright, he's my boyfriend."

"That's right, we know why you're here."

"What?" _They couldn't possibly…_

"Anyone who comes to _this _clinic obviously wants to defy God…and that's not going to happen, do you hear me!" He began to shake her until it became hard for her to breathe. _Please Bobby, where are you?_ "Where is the son of a bitch!"

"I don't know!" she yelled as she let out a sob. She wasn't used to feeling this vulnerable and the last time it happened, Jo Gage was whispering in her ear. She tried to scream but the attacker grabbed her neck. Alex began to feel her breaths becoming shorter and shallower, and she began to wonder what it was that brought her here: could it have been the bad week she had with Bobby? Or her push to stay strong through whatever happened to her? She didn't know. All that she knew was slowly falling into a haze that she couldn't control.

The next thing she knew a sharp yell came from her left. "Hey! Let her go!"

Suddenly the pressure was off of her throat and she could feel the breath flow freely from her lungs to her body. She tried to sit up, but the man still held her down. "It's not over, bitch," he said, than disappeared to the front of the car. She finally managed to sit up as she looked over the dashboard, hoping to see Bobby; instead she saw a squad of cop cars with two police officers, guns up, towards the assailant on the grass.

"God's will will prevail!" he yelled as they shot him down.

Two hours later there was an ambulance and an entire squad outside of the former Dr. Ager's clinic. Alex was wrapped in a warm blanket and holding a mug of coffee when Bobby came around the corner.

"Thanks for showing up," she said, obviously upset.

"I ran as soon as I heard you but when I aimed my gun at him you two were so close together…I couldn't risk it." Bobby looked frantic; his face was a mess and he still looked as if he just heard her cries seconds ago.

But to Alexandra Eames that did not matter; all that did matter is that when she needed Bobby he wasn't there.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thanks for the reviews guys! I really appreciate it! The second part of this is rated M, just a head's up**_

The police had IDed the attacker who died by gunshot; his name was Adam Craig. He was a construction worker who killed his wife after she aborted his child at Dr. Ager's clinic. He seemed to be part of the group Christ's Children, an underground movement dedicated to stopping abortion by "whatever means necessary". Postmortem, he had three bullet holes and a tattoo in the shape of a fish.

"Jesus," said Ross after he heard about the entire affair.

"Exactly," said Goren, "but not the way you think. The fish- the tattoo- is the sign of Jesus. It goes back to the biblical story of-"

"Goren, spare me the history lesson." Eames had been snappy ever since the incident. Ross had attempted to talk her into therapy but she shot him down before he could get to the word doctor; _some people just won't give in_, he thought, and let it rest there. He thought about commenting on the ever more precarious relationship of the two detectives, but decided those thoughts had best be kept to himself for now.

She stood up and walked out of the office as if in an angry fit, unable to control the thoughts or emotions that were boiling up. She knew she shouldn't be angry with him; after all, she should be grateful that he didn't shoot when she could have been the target, but the thought of dying and never seeing him there…never seeing him try to save her, never getting to say goodbye terrified her more than she could ever say. And Alex Eames did not like to be terrified.

So when he followed her out and down the hall she yelled, "Not now!" and hurried along as fast as her feet could carry her; he was too fast for them. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into one of the questioning rooms, quietly enough that no one noticed them exit. "What are you-"

"Sit." He motioned towards one of the chairs and sat in the other. She wanted to get up, to leave the room and never look back, but she decided against her better judgment to sit and hear him out. He got up and paced around a bit, until the silence became more than uncomfortable and someone needed to break the tension.

"Why are you pacing?"

"Because I don't know what's wrong with you."

"That's the stupidest answer I've ever heard."

"Well, what do you want me to say!" He turned towards her now, and she could clearly hear the hurt in his voice as he glared at her. _Good, _she thought,_ now he can see how I've felt for the past two years._

"I want you to say you were wrong, that this time Robert Goren couldn't handle everything that's been thrown at him. Even more, I want you tell me if you would take the bullet if I had been the one at the trigger, if I had been man enough to trust my instincts and not wait for the cops to do my job for me. If I had been there, I would have protected you!"

"I couldn't take that shot!"

"Would you take the bullet, Bobby?" Her eyes spat fire but at the same time were pleading with all their might. "Would you have taken the bullet?" He stood there, glaring at her with a feeling that she didn't know how to describe; it wasn't just anger or loathing, there was fear pouring out of his eyes. There was something he wasn't telling her, and it made her ready to scream at the top of her lungs. "Answer me!"

"Look, I don't know what you want me to say!" He knocked the chair over and slammed his hands on the table. "I'm sorry, alright, I'm sorry I wasn't there Eames. I'm sorry that I actually cared for your safety and didn't fire a shot. I'm even sorry that you ever thought I would just leave you to die, but do you want to know what I'm most sorry for?" His voice began to crack. "I'm sorry that I never got the chance to say I love you!"

Alex looked dumbstruck, as if every possible conception of the word normal had been thrown out of the window and onto the Manhattan street below. Bobby wasn't holding up very well himself. _Did I just say- where did that come from? I never thought I-_ He searched his feelings trying to come up with an answer to this not so typical question. There were very few things in his life that he cared deeply about, and most of them had passed on or left him. His one solace, his one safety was coming into work each day and seeing his partner working on a case, always ready to talk or, in most cases, listen. She never complained, never, and was always ready to help.

And then there were times…when she was so beautiful he was nearly dumbstruck, with her blond hair working its way down her back after she'd tuck it behind her ears when she was thinking hard, or when she smiled after a long day at work and put a hand on his shoulder; the times when she'd laugh about how he would overanalyze, or when she would calm him down during a really exhausting case. Her need to protect, to serve, to care…suddenly all of those times he had wanted to respond, to say something, to move to help her resurfaced, and he finally knew in his head what he already knew in his heart.

"I…" she tried to say, but could not find the words.

Bobby knew this would happen. He knew she could not possibly understand how much he cared. He put his hand over his forehead and rubbed it hard, trying to get clear of his thoughts. "But you never cared what anyone else thought, did you?"

He walked out of the room so suddenly that Alex could hardly blink with shock. _I love you? I love- wait._ He actually said it: those three words that she had always felt but never said, that she had behind every smile, every nod, every push on every case to encourage him, to help him. She needed him. She loved him so much it hurt to leave him knowing that he was so miserable the last few weeks, or the time that his mother died, or when she was chained in that hellhole of a basement. He had just said what she wanted to hear most of all. _He said "I love you"._ But suddenly she realized that he was really gone, really riding the elevator down and away from her and she had never told him how she felt.

Alex Eames ran out of the room, down the hall, and almost took the stairs before she realized what floor she was on. She frantically pushed the elevator button until the chime rang and the doors opened. The ride down the elevator shaft was not quick enough for her;_ please, don't let it be too late!_

She ran through security and down the steps outside, but he was nowhere to be found in the rain soaked city lights . _He must have driven home,_ she thought, and contemplated sulking back to her desk, forever to regret her actions that day; instead, she hurried to her car in the parking garage, stepped on the gas, and drove towards Bobby's house.

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He slammed the door shut and looked around, fuming and hurt, trying to shake off the spell she had placed over him. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe, without thinking of how it had all been for nothing: his truthful blunder had cost him his partnership. _I bet right now she is going to Ross to tell him that it is over, that she needs a new partner. It figures. I wasn't good enough, anyway._

He walked to the bathroom and poured himself a glass of water. Thinking better of it, he dumped it out, splashed water on his face and looked in the mirror. He was too tall, too heavy, too gray on his beard and hair, too rough around the edges for her. She was so perfect: perfect family, friends, life…he had no business telling her that he loved her and asking her to accept him into her perfect world.

He went past the couch and the TV into his kitchen and poured himself some whiskey, hoping that the effects might wash away his love for her for just one night. He could barely raise his glass when he heard the buzzer ring. He walked towards the door; "Who is it?" he said gruffly.

"Bobby, open the door!"

Was she actually here? At his house? _I must be dreaming._

"Bobby, please. Please."

_If I'm crazy, I might as well go along for the ride._ He pulled himself together and opened the door. Eames had wandered into the rain, expecting him to be sick of her, anything to do with her, when she heard him yell, "Alex!"

She turned around and saw him, standing in the rain just beyond his porch, becoming just as wet as she was; she couldn't have cared less. She started to walk, then run towards her partner as if her feet couldn't carry her fast enough, and when she finally got to him she wrapped her arms around his neck and reached her head up to give him the kiss she had wanted to give him for so long.

It was not simply a tender moment for Alex; it was ecstasy. Her mouth was moving with his, slowly, passionately, until all of her emotions were connected to his, passed through body heat. She pulled away, breathlessly, only to whisper in his ear, "I love you too".

Then his lips were on hers, and they were once again connected and unable to release each other; he was too dependent on her to let go. He lifted her up by her waist and pulled her inside his house, never once letting go of her kisses. He knew where he wanted her to go and she followed because she wanted him to go there too. She began to unbutton his shirt as his kisses drifted from her lips to her neck and his hands explored the back of her body. She just finished getting him unbuttoned when they had reached the bedroom door.

He pushed backwards and as the door opened he started unbuttoning her shirt. They stumbled in the dimly lit room until they reached the bed, where he slid off her shirt and unclasped her bra. She unbuttoned her pants and slid them off and began unzipping his.

He started to moan, and she could feel him going hard. He pulled down his pants and kicked them to the floor as Alex moved on top of him. She caressed his face and began to kiss him down his neck as he pulled down her panties and then slid out of his boxers. He kissed her face, her neck, her chest, every inch of her that he could find before coming back up to her lips, moving his tongue in and out of her mouth.

She held onto him, touching, feeling, moving through waves of comfort and love she had not experienced for years, until she was wrapped in pleasure and only waited for him to come. She sat back gently and felt him move into her; he flipped her over and began pumping. Every second that he moved he moved for her, to watch the rush of blood to her face, to watch her moan at every burst of pleasure, and she him. "Bobby, don't stop," she whispered; he wouldn't dream of it.

He stayed on top of her, thrusting between her hips and pushing into her more and more, pleasure mounting and increasing until she began to climax. "Oh my God!" she screamed in pleasure as a wave of ecstasy fell over her and she fell into the best orgasm she had had in a very long time. He was beginning to reach his peak, and he pumped more and more into her as her orgasm sprang back, fast and hard; he held onto her body and pushed his way into her as he released all of his frustration and love into her body.

He spasamed inside of her and felt even more pleasure come out and into his body. He fell back, exhausted, next to her; she was beautiful. He kissed her forehead and she held onto his side.

"I love you," he said, and then fell into a deep sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

When Eames woke up the next morning at the sound of a six thirty alarm, she was surprised to be looking up at a dark green ceiling instead of a white one._ Ugh, this early? Where am I- oh, yeah._ She turned and looked into the face of a sleeping Bobby, hardly graceful, a bit gruff, but exactly the way she loved him. "I love you," she said as she kissed his forehead

She looked over the side of the bed; _where are my- oh, there they are._ She grabbed her shirt, pants, and underthings and went to the bathroom to wash up and change. After she was dressed she went down the hall and into the kitchen. In a few minutes the distinct aroma of coffee beans filled the air.

She went back into the room to wake up Bobby, but he looked so peaceful that she decided to give him a few more minutes of sleep. She turned to exit when she heard his familiar, if groggy, voice coming from behind her. "You're leaving already?"

She turned back around, smiling and happy to hear him, saying, "You can't get rid of me that easily, Goren." She went back to the side of the bed and sat next to him, rubbing his back. "You okay?"

"Yeah, you?" He looked relaxed, she thought, more relaxed than he had in days. "A really great night will do that to you," he said, as if he could read the relief on her face.

"Come on, I made coffee."

After he had changed and showered he headed into the kitchen. "Navigating your way around alright?" he said as he pulled up a barstool.

"Yeah," she said as she handed him a cup of coffee. She hadn't been this happy since…since her husband died. She had always thought that she would never be able to cope with another man, another body to care for besides her own, ever again. When he died it cut a hole in her stomach, and while it would always be there, she knew that she gained a lot more than she ever could have thought from Bobby, in experience, friendship, and now in love. She laughed quietly to herself, overcome with happiness.

"Hey, what's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just that this is Java; I'd always figured you to be a French Roast kind of guy."

"Yeah, well, like me it's an acquired taste, remember?"

"Yeah."

He laughed lightly, and then looked at her more closely. "Hey, are you crying?"

She reached up to her eyes; they were covered in wet tears. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said as she tried to cover up her face.

Bobby stood up and walked behind the counter to hold Alex in his arms while she cried silently. "It's okay, Alex, it's okay." He held her for the longest time before she looked up, wiping the tearstains from her face. She looked up at him, afraid she had hurt him in some way.

"I'm sorry Bo-"

He held her even closer, so as not to give her any room to misinterpret how he felt. "No, don't ever be afraid to cry in front of me. I love you, remember?"

"I know," she said, "I just…I'm so happy to have you."

He kissed her forehead. "You always have."

They stayed in that way for a bit longer, neither wanting to leave the other's embrace, when Bobby saw the clock on the wall. "Hey Alex?" he said, his chin resting slightly on her hair, "We have to get going to work."

"Oh, God, I'm not dressed!" She left his arms and hurried around frantically looking for her keys.

"Yes you are," he said, watching her move and quietly analyzing how this tiny woman, nearly a head shorter than him, could be so productive.

She stood up and looked at him mockingly, "In the same clothes I wore yesterday?"

_Oh, right._ "Here," he said, handing her a cup of coffee. "Your keys are in your purse, which," he laughed, "is somewhere down the hall."

She walked towards him and, putting the coffee down in the kitchen, she reached up to stroke his face. "You're impossible," she said laughingly before she rested her lips on his.

15 minutes later, Alex got into her car and drove to her apartment. She showered and looked into her closed for something workable to wear. She picked out a pair of black jeans and a blue collared shirt, buttoned just enough to keep Bobby wondering, _like he still is!_, and headed out the door.

She was lucky enough to find a space off of a side street to park in instead of having to pay at the garage. After getting out, she walked for two minutes until she heard one of the loudest booms that she had ever heard before.

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Bobby arrived at work on time, and as he thought, no one the wiser when he sat down at his desk. Unfortunately, Mike Logan decided that this was not his day.

"Hey, Goren, how are you?"

Bobby looked around before he looked back up at Mike, clearly wondering why his usually temperamental disposition was so sunny. "I'm, um, fine Logan. How are-"

"Because it seems to me," he said as he moved in, quietly picking out the most daunting words to say, "that after a guy tells a woman that he loves her and gets shot down, he should be heart broken." Mike smiled as Bobby sat, shocked. "That is, unless something happened to make her change her mind."

"Logan," he said shakily, trying not to overdo it, "what are you talking about, I-" he suddenly realized his fatal mistake.

_In the interrogation room. Falacci and Logan saw it through the window. All of it._

"Someone had a lot of fun last night."

For a second Bobby contemplated the thought of Mike telling the captain what was going on, and then he remembered just what kind of man Logan was.

"Don't worry," he said, "I won't tell. Neither will Nola, and she's got a will of steel."

"Thanks," said Bobby, taking a relaxed breath, "I appreciate that."

"No problem," said Logan, "it took a lot of balls to say what you said in there."

The men smiled at each other in an understanding way, but before any work could get done Alex Eames ran through the door. At first only Bobby could tell that she was flustered, but in a few moments the entire squadron could tell that she was upset. Before anyone could help her, the phones started ringing like crazy.

_"Hello, Major Case Squad…what, an explosion, where?"_

_"Major Case Squad, ma'am, just tell me exactly what you saw."_

_"Major Case Squad, yes, I understand how urgent this is."_

"Bobby," she said frantically, trying to reason through what had just happened. "I think someone blew up my car."

Over the din all four could hear Ross yell "Detectives!"; Alex looked back up at Bobby. "Never mind, I know that someone blew up my car."

For the next few hours everybody was tense. For starters, the Captain told them that it was most likely a hit by Christ's Children, a name that apparently had a more dangerous connotation than it sounded. CC was a typical religious group, but over the last couple of years had turned fanatic. Now, unfortunately, it seemed that the damage had been done: not only had the attack wounded seven people, the group now knew that Alex was staked outside of the clinic that night. At the very least they thought that she was an aborter, and at the most…they could twist their sick minds into believing anything about the squad, putting everyone else's lives in danger.

Ross tried to assign the detectives a unit to keep an eye out for them, but neither of the four wanted to be followed indefinitely. In fact, all of them just wanted to get out of there and find some place quiet to think and pull themselves together, especially Alex. As soon as they were released she went to her desk to grab her things when she saw an envelope sitting on her desk. _Great, another surprise,_ she thought, and opened the letter.

_Det. Alexandra Eames,_

_We are watching you. We know who you are. You should be afraid._

She dropped the note on the desk and stepped back, shaking her head as if this could not be happening to her. Bobby went over to her desk and picked up the note; as he read it the color drained from his face. His hand balled into a fist and crumpled the note into a small ball of paper. He threw it on the desk and took Alex's arm. "Come on, we're leaving."

Before she could protest he had led her out of the office, into the elevator, and down to the garage. Bobby drove across the bridge towards his house when he took a sharp right and turned onto another road, leading down to the pier. He parked the car and they sat, in silence, for what seemed like forever. Finally, Alex sat up, put her head on the dashboard, and cried.

Bobby reached to comfort her, but at the last moment pulled away. _She needs this moment on her own._ He watched her sob for fifteen minutes, then pull herself together and sit up straight, brushing back tears. She turned to him, exhausted, and said, "They know about us."

"I know," he said.

"That's how they got to my car; they followed me."

"I know."

"They could still be following us; they could be watching us right now, and-"

She once again fought the urge to cry as tears streamed down her cheeks. Bobby couldn't hold back this time; he reached across the seat and held her close. He let her cry into his shirt and prop herself between his arms as he pulled her onto his lap. "Bobby," she said, sniffling between breaths, "I'm scared."

"Don't be." He sat her up, and looked straight into her eyes. "As long as we're together they will not touch you. I promise." She wrapped her arms around him and put her head on his chest. He kissed her forehead. "I promise you, Alex."


	5. Chapter 5

They decided to head back to Alex's apartment, only because there seemed to be the pretense of security with a doorman and video cameras in the halls; however, nothing could prevent them from thinking about that day. Alex sat up all night, waiting for them to come and take her away from everything and everyone that she loved…it hurt her to think that it could seriously impact her future, with work, with family, and…_and with Bobby._

She had always wanted children; having to give up her sister's baby was about the hardest sacrifice a surrogate mother could ever make. She wanted to keep the feeling of sleeping and waking up next to the same person that had been there for the past day; she loved the salt and pepper in Bobby's hair and his steadying voice which made the whole situation seem calmer. She loved the idea that if they got past this they could be partners, negotiate through all of the crap that was to follow, and be together.

_But could we? Could we really be partners again?_ She didn't know if there was a specific code in the manual, but she did know this: dating your partner was definitely taboo. It just wasn't supposed to happen. And further more, if they were on the job and their feelings got in the way when it was important…when it could cost a life, or more…_what would we do? We wouldn't be able to do anything._

It was these thoughts that wracked her brain that night, pushing and contorting until they had no escape but her through her tears. As she found herself crying again she let out a quiet pitying laugh; _wow, I've really screwed myself up._

It was still loud enough to stir the sleeping man next to her, and as his opened his eyes to her tearstained face she immediately turned away. "Have a nightmare?" he asked, holding her hand. She knew that he was only trying to help, but for some reason she didn't feel as ready to let him into this side of herself as much as it was just happening to her.

"Yeah," she said, wiping her eyes, "it was a nightmare."

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They got into the car in silence and went to work; there was nothing else they could do without having the eerie feeling that they were being watched. Eames sat down at her desk and began to work on the case while Bobby got coffee from the vendor in the lobby. A few minutes later Det. Logan showed up to join Falacci and the workroom at least had the pretense of a "normal day".

Bobby, however, was still on guard duty with Alex. He wouldn't let her leave his sight, and he began to get irritating.

"Bobby, I'm just using the restroom, I'll be fine!"

"For Christ's sake, Goren, lay off!" said Nola, walking down to her desk. "Look, if it makes you feel any better I'll watch over her for you!"

Bobby sighed, knowing that sometimes it hurt to be overprotective but not caring. "No, it won't, but okay."

As the two women walked away Mike came up to him. "You know, you can't stay with her forever."

Bobby swung around in his seat, his fuse officially being tripped. "What the hell does that mean Logan?"

"Calm down! I only mean that she's gonna be fine for five minutes without you breathing down her neck."

"Really," he said, standing up angry as hell, "'cause I'd like to know what neck you've been breathing down lately…or at all."

"Hey!" Logan was beginning to seriously get upset, and when he got mad the whole squadron could tell. "I don't have to go double dipping inside the system; I can find a girlfriend who isn't my partner."

"Shut up." Their fight was quietly escalating and while no one had heard any words yet, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife.

"And by the way, Goren, how will that work out for you? When the Captain finds out are you going to throw another tantrum? Or can you act like a man for once?"

"Logan," he said, forcing himself to calm down, "I don't care. I just don't care. I don't give a fuck about what the Captain thinks in this particular area, okay? I don't."

"Fine!"

"Fine."

The two men went storming off to their respective desks, not even mentioning how hot it was getting in the squadroom.

In the bathroom, Alex and Nola were having the exact opposite problem: finding any words to say. Alex sat against the wall, avoiding going back into the office while Nola leaned against the countertop, neither of them saying anything. Finally Nola couldn't handle the silence any longer.

"Do you love your partner?"

"Why, um, what?" Alex looked up at her quizzically, not knowing what to make of the situation.

"Do you love your partner?" Nola was never one for pleasantries. "Logan and I, we saw you two in the interrogation room. We know."

"Oh," Alex said, surprised to have unwillingly let two more people into their circle of trust, which seemed to be becoming bigger every moment. She thought, at first, of lying, of saying she didn't know what Falacci was talking about but as the moments wore on she decided that she didn't want to lie about her love for him, not today, not ever.

"Yes, yes I do."

"Well," she said, extending a hand, "that took guts to say, especially with the boss breathing down your neck."

"Thanks," said Alex, taking the hand and hoisting herself onto her feet. "I guess it just happened, we didn't plan it."

"I know."

Alex reached up to her collar and tugged; it seemed tighter this afternoon than it did this morning. "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

"No, it definitely is really hot." Nola looked outside to the rainy and potentially snowy New York skyline. "It shouldn't be this warm on a day like this…Oh my God, Eames are you okay?"

Alex was pale and sweat was showing on her forehead. "I don't know…I-"

She fell to the floor with a thud.

Meanwhile, other MCS officers were doing the same. It seemed as if a heat wave had hit the office, but unusually only some of the staff was affected. Either way, the paramedics arrived in a few minutes to help those who were sick.

Falacci ran towards Bobby's desk and reached him in a state of shock. "Goren!"

"What is it?" He was pretty upset after the blowup. "The paramedics are here and I'm stressed out enough as it is."

"Goren, stop being a dick and listen to me!" He looked up at her frantic face and could tell immediately that it was Alex.

"Falacci, where is she? Take me to her!"

They ran towards the floor's bathroom and shoved open the door, but Alex was nowhere to be found.


	6. Chapter 6

She could feel cold, which was a relief to the hot mess her skin felt like. She tried to open her eyes, but they were too heavy. Her arms felt like they were weighted down with stones and her lips locked firmly. For a moment she thought she was having a nightmare, but she forced herself to sit up.

A firm hand smacked her back down and her head hit the roof with a thud. The throbbing pain right between her eyes forced her to push her way up and hold her head. _Where am I?_ She opened her eyes. _That's where._

The edge of the roof was not place for anyone to be, yet there she was, face to hooded face with her attacker, and she was scared to death. There was no way that she was likely to survive what this man could do to her, alone on this roof, so quiet that no one would hear her scream.

Bobby, downstairs, was searching frantically for a way to find her. He told the security detail to canvas the place and informed Ross of the situation.

"Captain, I need to find her."

"I know, Goren, we will."

"No, you don't understand, this is my fault. All I wanted to do was protect her-"

"And you did; that's what any partner should do."

"Any part- yes, I know, you're right."

_"Any partner" wouldn't have just had sex with the one person they had cared about. _Bobby stopped talking, aware that if he kept going he would get the both of them into deeper trouble than they could afford, especially now.

"Please, Ross, I have to find her. I have to."

"Sir," called a cop, "there's a situation on the roof."

No one ran faster than Bobby to the roof and up the steps to the precarious edge. He grabbed his gun from his belt and pointed it at the masked attacker standing over Alex with such malice in his eyes. His knife was drawn and at her throat.

"Drop the knife, now!" Bobby yelled through the heavy wind, wanting to throw himself over Alex like a shield and protect her. The man did not reply, but edged his knife closer towards her throat.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered, every word cutting the knife into her flesh.

"Because I can," he said back, cruelly, and looked out at the rest of Major Case, all of their guns pointed at him. "All of you used this bitch to spy on us, to make us vulnerable; now you know how we feel."

The other two detectives shrank back, but Bobby kept his finger at the trigger, ready to fire whenever he could get a clear shot. "What the fuck do you feel, dragging an innocent woman-"

"No, not innocent, GUILTY!" his voice boomed across the roof to the other police officers, but their was only room for the five of them on this ledge. "We saw you two together at the clinic," he hissed. "We saw you in bed. We even saw her crying in your arms last night." Bobby locked his jaw tight, knowing that although they were the only ones hearing that conversation, it still stung like the shallow flesh wound on Alex's neck. "And it seems that the police are in on it to."

He began to yell. "The CC raises war on Manhattan Major Case! They will not rest until every member is dead! Dead! Dead! De-"

He never finished his sentence. Goren's bullet hit him square in the chest with no cushioning and found its way into his ribcage. He fell backwards off of the edge of the roof and presumably onto the street tens of floors below.

Bobby ran to Alex and held her close as she began to lose consciousness. "Don't worry, Alex, I won't lose you."

CICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICI

The next thing she knew Alex was staring up at hospital lights. The lights were followed by walls and the walls were followed by curtains; the blinds to the one window in the room were drawn. She tried to move her head to the side but felt pain in her left shoulder. "Bobby," she whispered, "where are you?"

Robert Goren, was, at this time, trying to convince the head nurse to let him in to see Alex. "At this point in time she is not ready to see anyone," she spat out like a robot. "Besides visiting hours are over for anyone who is not immediate family."

"They've already been here while she was sleeping; I need to get in there!" He walked towards the door.

She stretched out her arm as if to say stop, but he mistook the gesture. "Thank you," he said, grabbing her arm and shaking it up and down, and pushed her slightly to the side when he walked down the hall.

"Visiting hours are-! Oh, never mind."

He got to room 217 C and opened the door, expecting to find her sleeping; instead she looked at him and sighed, "Bobby, thank God you're here!"

"I would have been here sooner but the nurses are mental on this floor…"

"It's okay." He walked over to her side and kissed her quietly and urgently, until she said "Bobby, you're making my neck hurt."

"Oh, sorry," he said, easing up. He used his finger to trace along the side of her face, relaxing her even more. He kissed her forehead, her nose, her mouth, and then finally sat back. "Feeling better?"

"I am now." She smiled and looked up at him, grateful that his eyes were only on her. "The doctor said I could leave if I wanted to, but I didn't know where you were, so I told him I'd stay put."

"Do you want to go home?"

"Which home?"

"Either one works for me." He brushed her hair away from her face and admired her as he would a masterpiece.

"Let's go to your house."

They left the hospital that night and drove towards Bobby's house, Alex never raising her head off of his shoulder. He carried her into the house and sat her up on the bed, even though she told him time and again that the attacker held the knife to her throat, not her feet. Sitting down next to her, he tucked her hair behind her ear and said, "What do you want to know?"

"Why was everyone so sick?"

"Not everyone was sick, just a few people; it's complicated, maybe you should rest-"

"Bobby, look at me," she said, forcing his head up, "I deserve to know."

He sighed. "They released a virus into the ventilation system, a fast acting and multiplying one. The doctors are still debating on what strain of infection it was, but whatever it was they knew you'd be sick from it. The others, they were just innocent victims; you were their target, Alex.

"What's worse, when the last attacker found you he put a GPS microchip in your clothes; he must have done it while he was shaking you in the car outside the clinic. They used the chip to follow us. Every movement, every twitch, every shudder that you have had over the past two days they saw."

She looked back at him; "How do you-"

"The police found your clothes at your house…and mine."

She looked back up at him, silently shaking her head. "They know about us, don't they?"

"Not yet; they still think I just went home with you to watch over you after the attack…but when they find out that I slept with you…"

"No," she said, using her free hand to rub his face and put him at ease, "I don't care. I don't care if everyone knows if that means I get to be with you." He took her hand and held it to his chest and then kissed her, long and hard, until she didn't care about the pain in her neck anymore.

He pulled her down onto the bed and began to kiss her neck, her shoulder, her arms, everything. He unbuttoned her shirt and helped her pull it off. He unclasped her bra and helped her lift her hands over her head to get rid of it. He held her so close he was afraid to let go.

He made love to her that night not out of lust or fear, but out of sheer need to be with her, to please her one last time, before the inevitable happened


	7. Chapter 7

Both detectives braced themselves for going into work that morning. Eames was so nervous that she threw up twice before getting dressed; Goren wasn't in the best of states himself. He shaved every inch of his face and put on tan slacks and his most businesslike collared shirt while she showered. They ran to her apartment, checked to make sure that the police were gone, and then entered. She changed into a black pencil skirt and dark green blouse, checked her makeup to make sure that there was no hint of seductiveness, and went back to the car. They drove into work that morning perfectly prepared for the onslaught ahead and as he parked the car in the garage, she stepped out as gracefully as could be and they both walked with their heads held high into the precinct.

They didn't even make it to their desks to discuss a strategy; Ross was leaning against Bobby's. "Detectives, I think that you both know that I'm going to ask you to step inside my office." They didn't refuse or acknowledge him; they just walked straight into his office doors and sat as he closed them.

Ross looked at both of them with a square jaw and a glint of anger in his eyes. "How long have you two known each other?"

"Seven years," said Alex.

"And when," said Ross, "was it ever acceptable to stay the night at your partner, of seven years, apartment and leave your clothes on the floor? Ah- yes, Eames I see that you want to respond but I want to hear it from Goren."

Bobby sat up straight and responded. "Yes, Captain?"

"Don't 'Captain' me Goren, you really screwed up this time. You left a jacket, a shirt, and your house keys at Eames' apartment when you drove her home. Don't respond, yet, I am not finished!

He sighed. "I know you just went to watch over her and you left your things in her room, that's understandable; it is because I know that you two would never do anything inappropriate. You two are the best two detectives on MCS and you should know that you have the department's full support."

Alex and Bobby looked at each other, shocked. Captain Ross had rarely ever given the two of them a compliment. It had definitely taken Bobby by surprise.

"I want you to know this because they are looking into this matter very carefully, Goren and Eames. As decorated as you are, they still suspect that something is going on between the two of you. They will ask to search your house, Goren, and you can chose to let them invade your privacy or not. Like I said, everyone is in your corner."

Bobby looked down to the ground, trying to think this through in his head. They could say no, they could walk away from today and nobody would be the wiser. They could go back to being partners again.

But how long? How much longer would it take for people to find out? Was it even worth it? He looked up at Alex, who gave him a nod and a wink. _Well, it was nice while it lasted._

Bobby looked back at Ross. "No, sir, our corner is not what you think it would be."

Ross' face turned hard. "What do you mean," he asked evenly.

"This." Bobby stood up and took Alex's hand, turned around, and kissed her smack on the lips in front of their shocked Captain, and as much as they cared, in front of the whole world. They held onto each other for a few more moments before they let go, and Bobby promptly turned around and said to his captain, "I love her."

Ross was a complete wreck. He stood there in shock, hardly believing what had happened had happened. "What the hell happened?"

"I love her. That's about it."

Eames came around to face Captain Ross and said, "I don't think either of us is exactly sure either-"

"But it did," Bobby finished.

"When did it happen?"

"On Tuesday at five in interrogation room #2."

"In my-"

"Yes, captain in your interrogation room."

"Where did you- oh my God," Ross panicked, "Detectives, open the door and leave, now."

Bobby opened the door for Alex, ever the gentleman, before he exited the small office himself. She came through the door grinning from ear to ear, and before anyone could get a word in Alexandra Eames grabbed Robert Goren by tie and kissed him so tenderly that even the prudest of office beurocrats blushed. Ross came out, still lost in the fog, to see his two most celebrated detectives kissing in front of everyone and lost it.

"Goren, Eames, you're fired!"

Far from being upset, Bobby simply responded, "Suspended."

"Fired!"

"Suspended."

"Suspended!"

"Suspended."

The entire office watched in awe; they had never seen the Captain go off like that. Even more amazing, Goren had turned 'fired' to 'hired' in a little under ten seconds. By now even the dedicated office workers were watching.

Ross tried to maintain control. "One month."

"One week," said Bobby.

"Three weeks!"

"Two."

"Okay!" Ross resigned, defeated. "But I'm reassigning you as of now. Goren, you're with Logan; Falacci, you're with Eames."

"Fine. We're keeping our desks," said Alex.

"Fine!" Ross rubbed his head, still confused by what was going on. He looked back to just a few minutes ago and wondered where it all went wrong, where he must have slipped up as leader of Major Case to let them…_wait, what_!

"Goren! Did you say Tuesday? Do you mean to tell me that over three days you fell in love with her enough to risk throwing away your job, your income, your pride-"

Bobby swiveled around and took Alex with him. He walked right back up to his captain and said, "No, I didn't, but to set the record straight…" Bobby turned back to Alex and dropped down on one knee.

"Alexandra Eames, I have known you for seven years, loved you for ever, and woken up by your side for three days now; will you marry me?"

The entire squadron went silent. Would she say yes? Would she say no? For a few of them this was their first real encounter with the Detectives, but if it would always be this exciting they were definately up for it.

Alex took him by the arm. "Bobby," she said, "I'd love to."

"Yeah, yeah! Way to go!"

_Where'd that come from?_ Ross thought. He looked behind him and his other two most reliable detectives, Logan and Falacci, were hooting and hollering as if the messiah had come.

"Falacci! What are you doing?"

"They look cute together," she said straight faced, and then returned to embarrassing him. In a few seconds the entire room lit up with cheers and exaltations. Ross was, well…_I'm about to snap on the entire fucking world!_, but then he looked around him at all the happy faces and the couple standing in the front, hugging as if there was no one to inhibit them, and thought better of it. "I'm going home early," he said, suddenly very grateful that he would get to see his wife and kids.

Bobby and Alex left the squad room with, unexpectedly yet gratefully, everyone in their corner.


	8. Chapter 8

Bobby sat at the table, looking into the face of the woman he loved, and took her in. She was beautiful, smart, loving, and a big adventurer. She had to be the only woman who had ever been his match in every way. He reached his hand across the table and said, "I know I've told you three thousand times today, but I love you."

Alex smiled back. "The favor is returned, Mr. Goren."

"Yes, Ms. Eames, or should I say, Mrs. Goren…"

She kicked him under the table. "Not yet, Bobby, we still have to get married first." The waiter came by to return their change and their food. They stood up, grabbed the takeout, and went out the door.

"Thanks for getting take out, my stomach's a bit flighty." Alex smiled back up at him. "Always taking care of me."

"No problem; you know, I could get used to being the big protector." He threw an arm around her.

"Really?" she smirked, flirting with every look.

"Really. I could get used to taking care of you, seeing you at home each day, smiling, calling you Alex instead of Eames." They laughed at how ridiculous it seemed now to call each other by their last names.

"You know," she said, "before this week I think you've called me Alex in front of other people twice."

"Really?" he said, a bit embarrassed.

"Really. But don't worry, I can get used to this Alex business."

It was the next Friday and the detectives were thoroughly trying to enjoy their suspension. They walked along the sidewalk towards the paring garage with his arm around her waist and the takeout in his other hand.

"You know," he said teasingly, "being married won't be that different."

"It won't, will it?"

"Seriously Alex, it's just a name, a ring, a house…" He reached down to her stomach. "…a kid, a dog, maybe even-"

"Wait!" Alex panicked. "What?"

"What did I say?" Alex took off in the other direction. "Did you change your mind?" He yelled jokingly.

"No, I just have to go to the drugstore!"

"Why?" he yelled, but she had ducked into a store and out of sight. He walked back towards the drugstore and peeped in, wondering if she wanted to get some medication for her stomach. _It's always good to- baby._

He nearly dropped the food. He stood still, rubbed his eyes and looked back at the box that she had in her hands. Suddenly it all made sense: her crying, her sickness, everything…_she's pregnant._

He walked in as she took her change and dropped it in the tip jar. She walked towards him as she put the box in her purse.

"Are we?"

"There's only one way to find out."

They rushed home as legally and within the speed limit as possible, although Bobby definitely pushed 60 where there wasn't any traffic. Within fifteen minutes of being inside they knew: Alex was going to have a baby.

"Bobby," she said, "is this okay? Are you ready for this?"

"Okay?" He said, pulling her close and into his arms, "it's more than okay, it's amazing." He reached his hand down to the base of her shirt to feel her stomach. "That's a little guy in there."

"Or a little girl."

"Wow." He kissed her forehead. "I know now."

"What?"

"What it would have meant if you had taken that bullet." She listened quietly, her eyes gazing intently up at him. "I know you wanted me to, but I never would have shot. I love you too much."

"I love you too."

The two detectives sat wrapped up in their happiness if even for a short time, sitting together on the bed. Her head was nestled against his shoulder while his arm wrapped around her waist; he held her hand in his against her stomach. They sat and then slept, never moving away from one another, never letting go. All of the joys and fears that lay ahead- the wedding, the baby, the CC, the job- all of that grew pale in comparison to the two of them. There would be more time for those things, but now it was their time, and they were going to take it.


End file.
